Proof that Zombies really do exist 59

  • Did you know that there is proof that zombies really exist, and that there are millions of people all around the planet who truly believe that the evidence is irrefutable? Indeed yes, its all documented in the bible.

In Mathew’s fictitious account of a Jewish Messiah, it reads as follows …

And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent; And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many. – Matthew 27:51-53

So there are a couple of observations here …

  • We have an earthquake
  • We have zombies – Dead people rose up and wandered into the city

Now all this is quite a surprise, especially to all of the contemporary writers, because none of them appears to have noticed. I don’t know about you, but for me both a earthquake and also night of the living dead are events that would tend to attract a bit of attention.

Its not the sole zombie example, we also have Lazarus (John 11), the passage in the book of Revelations (11:10-11) that describes a supposed future event in which two dead prophets rise up and strike terror into all, and also Zechariah 14:12 where we read …

their flesh will rot while they stand on their feet, and their eyes will rot in their sockets, and their tongues will rot in their mouth.  On that day a large-scale panic from the LORD will spread among them. One person will grab the hand of another, and one will attack the other.

It can of course be argued that both Zechariah, and also Revelations are symbolic and not describing literal events, but you cannot make that claim for Matthew, it claims to be an accurate historical record. So you are faced with a rather stark choice:

  • Either its accurate and there really was an earthquake and zombies
  • Or its not accurate

Given that there is not one other single mention by any other contemporary writer, and the fact that dead people don’t rise up, the only rational conclusion is that it is not accurate.

This of course presents a direct challenge to any who advocate  the Bible to be a book of truth.

  • Some view it as divinely inspired and that every word is true – yet here we have irrefutable proof, evidence from its own pages, that this is simply not true.
  • Some view it as a sacred text, just not a text that communicates the unaltered word of God. They see it instead as true, divinely inspired theology mixed with foreign elements that can sometimes be inconsistent. If so, then who gets to decide what is truth? You are placed into a position of the self-elected elite telling you what to believe (and all such positions have not one single jot of evidence to support them)
  • Some view it as a truly human product – propaganda crafted from the minds of men to persuade you to embrace a specific belief

I suspect you can guess which of these is the only credible rational position.

Believers, when faced with this challenge, argue that this part of Matthew did not ‘literally’ happen; that it is perhaps inspired by scripture (Ezekiel 37) and is not to be taken as factual reporting. But when it comes to anything else in Matthew, such an allegorical reading becomes deeply unpopular (gosh what a surprise). Nope, sorry you don’t please to play this get-out-of-jail free card, just to duck the issue.

Hat tip to PZ Myers, who blogged about this infamous zombie reference a few days ago, where he observes …

Somebody ought to turn it into a novel — you’ll have both the evangelical Christian audience and the graphic horror audience at the same time! Think how much fun the book signings would be!

Now, to finish this off, does anybody know of any biblical references to the Umbrella Corp?

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