As I’m sure you all know, tomorrow (21st May) is “rapture” day. For believers it is yet another of the almost monthly predictions regarding the end-of-the-world, and just like all the previous predictions, this one will also be a dud, so for the non-believers, it simply marks the day prior to our post-rapture mocking.
In fact, the only reason we all know about this specific prediction is because the senile nutcase that made the claim has successfully managed to con many into paying over $3 million for advertising. It is truly heart breaking; this complete gobshite has convinced folks such as retired subway worker Robert Fitzpatrick into blowing his entire $140,000 life savings on an ad campaign in New York city.
I have no idea how that poor bloke will manage to pick up the pieces when reality comes knocking as the sun rises on 22nd May.
So how have others responded to all this? Well, one smart bunch of atheists have cooked up a neat solution: they have set up a business to care for the pets of any Christians who are magically raptured.
Eternal Earth-Bound Pets says on its website:
You’ve committed your life to Jesus. You know you’re saved. But when the Rapture comes, what’s to become of your loving pets who are left behind?
The rapture rescue service, according to this report, already has hundreds who have signed up and paid $135 to ensure their unsaved companions are safe when they have been whisked off up into the sky.
Now, since the rescue service is run by non-believers, they are guaranteed to be ready and available after the supposed supernatural intervention (unless of course they just happen to be on a flight where the pilot and co-pilot are believers).
We will notify all of our rescuers to go into action and they will drive to the homes of anyone who’s signed a contract with us, pick up their pets and take them home and adopt them as their own, keeping them happy and healthy for the rest of their lives.
This will happen only if and when the Rapture happens. So we do not expect to have to do anything on Saturday.
Contracts are good for 10 years, just in case the Mayan calendar prophesy, which predicts the world will end in December next year, comes true.
Is this a scam, or just some satire for 21st May? Well, these folks have been running this service since June 2009, and to ensure their carers are not believers, they say that ““We ask that rescuers blaspheme in accordance with Mark 3:29, which states, ‘But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; he is guilty of an eternal sin.’”
Personally, I’m not really sure what to make of this … yes its funny, and as a piece of satire it is also quite good, but Bart is at the same time serious, has made $35,000 so far, and claims that he intends to honor the agreement should the rapture actually happen, but then being a non-believer, he also knows that it never will (so get you head around that bit of double-thinking)
Oh, and one other thought, if a believer comes to their senses and stops believing in all the nonsense … do they get their money back? My guess is ‘No Refunds’.
For your further amusement, here is the video they use to advertise their services …
Meanwhile, here is a “handy” form is doing the web rounds which Rapture-bound people can fill out to ensure their worldly goods go to the right people.