The Cult of Fools – The Onion is at Risk – June 13, 2021

cult of fools
By bdk, CC BY-SA 3.0,

Once again we scan the GQP landscape to see what has emerged from this dark, dank, and very gloomy cesspit during the past week. The picture that the mosaic of their latest babbling paints for us is not exactly pleasing to the eye, nor does it conjure awe. Instead it invokes mirth, laughter, and outright mockery.


Well, let me put it this way. The folks at The Onion should be seriously worried. The GQP flow of fictitious nonsense that is masquerading as fact is on par with the very best satire. This is so much the case these days that any attempt to work out what is satire and what is quite real will befuddle and confuse vast numbers as they attempt to grapple with this very modern mobius twist that some have the outright brazen cheek to refer to as “alternative facts“.

Is this an exaggeration?

Let’s test this.

Below you will find a selection of claims and declarations that have popped up during the past week. Like last week, my source is Right-Wing watch. Is any of it actually true? If you wear a red hat then you might indeed think it is, but the truth is that none of it is.


The Big Lie

Laurie Roth continues to insist that Donald Trump is still the president and remains in control of the military, but Trump “didn’t have to publicize it to the media that has long been sold out to the America hating left. There is no law or rule that declares his signature and declaration of this act had to go to anywhere else but the military.

  • Remind me again who the current commander-in-chief of the military actually is.

COVID-19 Items

Lauren Witzke believes that the wave of COVID-19 that swept through “TruNews” was a demonic attack on the network for having Milo Yiannopoulos on the program after “Satan’s favorite sodomite” became “ex-gay” and a Christian.

  • Could their promotion of the idea that COVID is a hoax and that vaccines are the tool of satan have possibly been the actual root cause of what happened to them?

Related to the above, this past week we also learn that TruNews Anti-Vaxxer host, Rick Wiles, now Blames Chinese Agents for His COVID-19 Infection

  • He literally did this to himself by refusing a vaccine and now claims it was all a Chinese plot (about here is the correct place for you to proceed to face-palm)

Dave Hayes (aka “The Praying Medic”) tells his fellow MAGA conspiracy theorists not to get “triggered” by former President Donald Trump’s support for the COVID-19 vaccine because he doesn’t mean it and it’s all for “optics”: “Use a little critical thinking.”

  • The correct term here is actually “uncritical thinking”

The Cult of Trump

Nathan French reports that he saw former President Donald Trump “in the spirit and his ear was small” but then it “started to grow, representing his increased capacity to be able to hear and be directed by the voice of God.”

  • I do wonder if Nathan realises that his story is actually a warning. People who listen to the voices in their heads generally tend not to be all that grounded in reality.

Jan 6th

Josh Bernstein says there was no insurrection at the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, claiming the entire thing was a setup by Black Lives Matter, antifa, Democrats, and the Capitol Police.

  • He appears to be claiming that the Capitol Police officer who died committed suicide.
  • He is not the only one making this “False Flag” claim. When others made the claim many months ago it was robustly debunked with facts. Anybody still promoting or embracing the claim these days is either demonstrating a remarkable disconnect from verifiable facts, or is knowingly practising deliberate fraud. Neither is a good image.

Truly Bizarre

Eugene Delgaudio accuses Burger King of selling “homosexual chicken sandwiches” after the restaurant chain announced that it will be donating a portion of its sales to the Human Rights Campaign.

  • Burger King thanks Eugene for the free advertising.

QAnon conspiracy theorist Bishop Larry Gaiters claims that Q was formed before the Civil War and that President Joe Biden “was actually executed two years ago.”

  • For some, reality is truly an undiscovered country.

Eric Metaxas was booted from YouTube, which he apparently thinks is very similar to what happened to Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German theologian who was killed by the Nazis: “I’ve written about so many heroes of the faith that have stood against this, so I cannot shrink from what comes to my doorstep.

  • For a supposed Christian Intellectual, Eric is really not a smart guy.

Gordon Klingenschmitt warns that the Biden administration is actively recruiting lesbians into the military because “they want a demonic military” to help the Antichrist “rise and take over the world.”

  • Netflix really needs to hire this guy because I want to see this movie.

The Nevada Family Alliance calls for teachers to wear body cameras so that parents can monitor if their children are being taught critical race theory.

  • Their confidence that parents will come home from a hard day in the office and then be willing to trawl through many many hours of body-cam videos from their kids teachers is truly awe inspiring.

Tony Spell asserts that Christians are “obligated” to kill anyone who tries to burglarize their home or steal their possessions: “God requires me to do that. It’s not even an option.”

  • The same book in the old testament also advises that enslaving your neighbours is just fine. If you live next-door to this guy, I’d strongly recommend that you move.

Scott Lively claims that support for transgender rights is designed “to destroy binary male/female human identity in preparation for transhumanism.”

  • I’d place a good sum of money on a bet that if you asked Scott to define the word “transhumanism” he would be unable to do so.

Fools of the week – The False Profit$

The stars here are of course the religious grifters. To be wholly clear, most humans, regardless of their cultural belief or non-belief are decent. Some however deploy and leverage belief as a tool to manipulate and enrich themselves with. This section is very much dedicated to these religious fraudsters …

‘The Trump Test’: Johnny Enlow Says Support for Trump Is a Measure of One’s Loyalty to God

  • Support for Trump is indeed a test. It is actually an intelligence and gullibility test. If you support him, then you just failed.

‘Prophet’ Jeff Jansen Declares, ‘It’s Revolution Time,’ Says Trump Will Be Back in Office in June

  • Past experience tells us exactly how this will pan out. Like every previous “Prophecy”, this one will also fail and will soon be replaced by a new date. I do have to wonder have many times his flock go around this loop before they start to wise up.
  • Side Note: This is the guy who was recently fired from his ministry. Why? Fake prophecies? nope, not a problem. Telling the Ushers in his church to shoot anybody who tries anything? Nope, not a problem. What did it was leaving his wife and running off with another woman. In other words he and they are rather blatant hypocrites … then again, this is all very much right out of the classic Trump playbook.

“You are who you surround yourself with,” declared right-wing pastor Jackson Lahmeyer while proudly posting a photo of himself to Facebook with Michael Flynn and Mike Lindell as evidence of his qualifications to be a U.S. senator.

  • If Mike Lindell and Mike Flynn are his heroes then that perhaps tells you all you really need to know.

Right-wing pastor Shane Vaughn: ‘They Shoot ‘Em in North Korea, and They Kill ‘Em in America’

  • He is seriously arguing that being de platformed for saying obnoxious stuff is on par with being shot in North Korea.

Mario Murillo tells Christians to “wake up” to the horrors of the Biden administration: “Do you not see the blatant abuse of power? Do you not see how power is being centralized under tyrants who hate God, who hate freedom, hate your faith, and want to dominate your children’s future? Can you not see how vicious they are, how deviant they are and how determined they are to manipulate every aspect of American life?

  • Yes indeed, wake up. Look upon the stimulus checks, the infrastructure bill and jobs, the empathy for all people, the competence, the free vaccinations to keep you all alive, the desire to address climate change and much much more … oh the pure horror and evil of it all, why can’t we go back to utter incompetence and corruption.

Hank Kunneman prophesied that former President Donald Trump would be reelected in 2020. That didn’t happen. Kunneman has since repeatedly prophesied that Trump would be restored to office. That hasn’t happened either. So why is God taking so long? Kunneman has the answer: “It’s to make it look like the prophets miss it.

  • The rather simpler and far more fact-based answer is that these self-appointed prophets are fakes.

Pastor Greg Locke is not a fan of Pride Month or same-sex marriage: “It’s always been about these pedophiles!

That’s a wrap for this past week.

Will next week be any different, is it possible for all these crazy people to suddenly find some common sense?

I suspect that you need exactly zero prophetic ability to come up with the right answer.

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