Funny replies to Homophobic hate mail

14So how should people who are on the receiving end of a constant stream of hate mail respond?

There are of course many options that range from the snide rebuttal, through to a well-reasoned appeal designed to stir up human empathy, or perhaps even to rise above it all and ignore it. Given all the distinct possibilities I think that perhaps the very best is pure humour.

Over at they have a wonderfully funny collection that plays that last option ever so well, and so here is a small selection of a few of my favourites …

Welsh Faggots

Hater #3: “God hates faggots and fags.”

Reply:  Is that something you’d like me to include as a discussion topic?

I can see how God would dislike fags, here in the UK my friend Joe smokes 20 fags a day, the rug beside his sofa has dozens of tiny burn holes on it, I can only imagine what that would do to an angel’s wings, I guess they’re highly flammable and smoking would cause a health and safety issue. Plus you have to remember his house, his rules!!!!!

As for Faggots, well I love them, I was in Wales recently and bought them freshly made from the local market, they were the best meat balls I have ever tasted.

There was a strange incident though at check in, in the hotel, when the receptionist asked me if I’d like anything on room service and I replied “Could you send some faggots up please?”

According to the receptionist (Telling me later) the American couple behind me looked quite shocked (I think they may have already eaten) and even more so when I added, “Just a couple though, I’m cutting down.”

I don’t think God is a vegetarian or anything, I’ve heard he’s partial to fatted calf. Anyhow, I’ll pop your suggestion into the discussion section and see how it goes, thanks ever so much for your support.


Hater #9: “F*CK GAYS”

Reply: I’d never thought of doing that, thanks for the tip, what would you say was the best position?


Reply: I doubt I’d have the time but I’ll make a start this weekend and report back to you on Monday. Thanks again poppet xxx

Sex With a Banana

Hater #11: “Dear Kel, if that is in fact your real name. I recently came across your group  and was quite disgusted to see that so many people are against normal sexual practices.

Do you think that encouraging people to ” come out” as perverts is right?
The Bible clearly states that homosexuality is wrong, so what gives you the right to give people false hope in the thinking that everything will be fine if they are deviants?

You have to face the Lord at some point and be judged. Change now before it is too late.

Peace and Love from Hater#11″

Reply: Dear Hater #11,

As you can see by my name, my name is in fact Kevin, but my friends call me Kel, so you can call me Kevin. 

No, I do not think that encouraging people to be themselves and not what others force them to be, is a good thing, I think it’s a great thing.

“The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn’t mean God doesn’t love heterosexuals, it’s just that they need more supervision.” ~Lynn Lavner

When the “Judgment day” comes I will be only too happy to tell how I spread love and had hate removed, how I brought people together and how a community was born from a simple idea that all of “The Lord’s” humanity  should be equal.

In closing, can I point out the “deviant” and “pervert” should never be used by someone who has an open profile as I can clearly see that you belong to the groups “I want to have sex with a banana” and “Fisting”; not that I have anything against either of those practices, but it’s hardly the missionary position is it?

Do take care, and yes, peace and love to you too.

Who are Stop-Homophobia?

They are a group that has a very specific agenda, one that is not exactly a deeply held secret and can be very easily summed up with just one single word … equality.

Their website explains how it was all started …

During a search for a page on facebook, I found two hate pages.They only had a few members , but all I could think was what if one of my family found this page and read  the hate speech.

I decided to “report” both pages, as  hate speech is  against Facebook’s own terms of use.

I sent links to the pages to some friends so they too could report them, they replied  with links to others  I thought that rather than 30 of us sending each other messages, I would collate the links on one Facebook page. An hour later there were hundreds of members and by the end of the day a thousand had joined. has become a huge gathering of LGBT support from all over the world. We educate each other. We have a lot of “straight” supporters who learn a lot about us too. This is community engagement, resource sharing, discussion, encouragement, on a global scale.

The most important part of is the membership, those people who click to report, share stories and help to build community spirit, they are what really matters.


If you are feeling in distress …

Then click here to go to their list of numbers that you can call right now for help.

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