The Cult of Fools – “Alex Jones is totally Fucked” – Aug 7, 2022

By bdk, CC BY-SA 3.0

The backstory here is this. Alex Jones had been sued by the parents of a 6-year-old boy who was killed in the Sandy Hook Elementary school massacre. Jones’s false claims that the shooting was a “hoax” made their lives a “living hell.”. That trial previously happened and Jones was found to be libel. This week’s session was to work out how much he should pay.

The answer turns out to be $4 million and also another $45 million. I think that is way too little, but hey, this was only one set of parents, there are others also suing him.

The highlight of the Alex Jones trial this past week had this beautiful moment …

Oh come now, you want to see that, not just read about it, so here you go and enjoy the look on the face of Alex Jones when the bombshell is dropped …

Another truly beautiful moment is the judge ordering Jones to do something he has consistently failed to do …

To be honest, I’m quite frankly thrilled. As the old saying goes, it could not have happened to a nicer guy.

Moving on, below you will find my usual selection of some truly bizarre claims that have popped up during the last 7 days. Each is laced with my snarky commentary. With my usual hat tip to my main source, Right Wing Watch, let’s dive in.

Enjoy.

Guns

Lauren Boebert says if the assault weapons ban is passed, people in America will start eating their dogs because that’s what happened in Venezuela.

  • I really don’t understand why a gun lover such as her is opposed to background checks, I’m sure it has nothing to do with all the various arrests she has had.
  • She will happily talk about how passionate she is regarding this issue, but when the actual vote on the assault weapons ban took place in the House, she did not bother showing up to vote.
  • Boebert Translator: If our guns are taken away, the marxists will take over America. Then the economy will crash and everyone will be starving and have to eat their pets.

A North Carolina school system is planning on putting AR-15 rifles in every school, to beef up security measures in case of an active shooter

  • You know what comes next. If someone gets this school gun and shoots up a school, the “solution” will be placing guns all around the school in case you need to confront a school shooter who used the main gun. It’s guns upon guns, multiple layers all the way down.
  • Next will be the proposal to pop a can of emergency accelerant right next to the emergency fire extinguishers. This is because the only way to stop a bad building on fire is to have a good building on fire.
  • New back to school supplies list: three-ring binder, ruler, compass, protractor, and a gun

CPAC Weirdness

Yea, it’s that time of year for the Texas CPAC. For example, Rick Scott was delivering a truly bonkers speech at CPAC. Putting that aside there was much that was even more bonkers. Here are a few examples …

Hungarian Dictator Orbán pandering to the Dallas CPAC audience: “We decided we need less genders and more Rangers, less drag queens and more Chuck Norris”

  • One take on it I really Loved was thisPicture this: you joined the College Republicans in 2002 and 20 years later you’re in a sweaty Dallas convention hall as the dictator of Hungary tells you how awesome Chuck Norris is. You’re howling like a seal that just got some herring thrown at it by his trainer.
  • Perhaps next year’s CPAC guest speaker might be Mussolini!

Biggs talks at CPAC about defunding agencies like the FBI and DOJ.

  • So There you have it folks. If MAGA-Republicans win the House they will defund the police.
  • Side note, so yes, Biggs was one of the seditious 7 who asked for Pardons from Trump. I truly understand his self-interest in buggering up both the FBI and also the DOJ.

At CPAC, Mike Lindell says to watch the judiciary at the end of the month, because big things are in the works after his new ‘evidence’ presentation: “I’m telling you, after the 20th and the 21st of August .. you’re gonna see the biggest change this country has ever seen.”

  • He has been making the “Big change just a few weeks away” claim for a very long time now. It’s basically his permanent speech. Meanwhile the dates come and go again and again and again, yet it always remains “Just a few weeks away”. He has those goal posts permanently in motion.
  • Side Note: In the clip Bannon pretends this is actually legit because MyPillow is the major sponsor of his show.

Truly Bizarre

Dog the Bounty Hunter would like you all to know that there is a war going on between “Christians” and “evil.”

  • The only little problem here for him is that many of the “Christians” are playing for team “evil”.
  • In essence this is a supposed war between Republican Christians and… normal decent Christians, Muslims, Jews, Atheists, Buddhists, Hindus, Jains, Sikhs, Shinto, Pagans, Satanists, Wiccan, Baha’i, Rastafarians, Traditional African, Diaspora, Mexicayoti, Peyotese, Waashatis, etc.
  • To truly understand team “Republican Christian” you need to appreciate that Jesus is simply the mascot, not the team coach.
  • Dog’s real name is Duane Chapman. Convicted of first degree murder and sent to prison in 1976, he went on to become a bounty hunter. That career then morphed into the eight season TV show. He has also been married six times … so far. Also famous in 2007 for being caught on tape using the N word rather a lot. So yes, a real “Republican Christian” guy.

Political Persecution in America needs to end. It’s completely out of control“, says Rep Marjorie Taylor Green who has spent a great deal of her time calling for the arrest, imprisonment, and impeachment of the President, VP, AG, and multiple cabinet members and senior government officials.

The “Transformed Wife” explains that the “War on Women” involvesBirth control, Tampons, Abortion, Divorce, Fake nails, Cosmetics, 9 to 5 jobs, Breast implants, High heels, Sunscreen, Teeth whiteners

  • “War” includes … Having a Job, Tampons, and Sunscreen!!
  • I have to admit, being pro-skin cancer is a new one, but hey, I guess every cell has a right to life.
  • Is it a “war” loophole if you start work at 8:55 instead of 9?

The False Profit$

Christian hate-preacher Greg Locke says his private investigation team has uncovered the “coven of witches” at his church. The witches had the same P.O. Box number, he says, because “they all getting paid by the same people to come bring our church down.

  • To be fair, witches are famously known for sharing PO Boxes.
  • Life tip: if you are in that tent listening to an end-times preacher explaining how “they” are coming to get you, and someone hands you a cup of tropical punch, don’t drink it.

Christian preacher Hank Kunneman had a dream. And that dream, he explained this morning, was to quickly raise $2,400,000. “If you think that’s a lot of money, it isn’t for me, and it isn’t for God,” he said to the people whose money he craves.

  • Well-known grifter, proceeds to grift … not really a surprise at all.
  • As George Carlin once famously pointed out, God always appears to be short of money and needs yours.

Self-described Christian “prophet” Lance Wallnau has a whole theory about how the 2020 election results will be overturned so that Donald Trump can return to the White House.

  • Translation: Lance had a Trump win as a prophecy, so to be right and keep the donations rolling in, he needs to do weird stuff like this.
  • One thing we do have to admit is that Lance works really hard at grifting and strives very hard to avoid having a real job.

Interesting Articles

  • Marc Caputo @ NBC News: Trump baffles GOP by endorsing ‘Eric’ in the Missouri Senate primary — a race with three Erics
  • Aadit Tambe and Aaron Blake @ Washington Post: See the ads Democrats are funding to boost far-right Republicans

Statistic of the week

Christianity Today ran an article claiming that millions are leaving mainline churches and joining non-denominationals.

Ryan has the actual statistics. They tell a rather different story …

https://twitter.com/ryanburge/status/1555573933776175105

Facts matter.

Meanwhile

I’ll just leave this here …

Overall, it has actually been a rather better week than most

There was this …

… and of course also this …

Oh, and if you know this guy then you might also enjoy this event as many others have …

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