PZ’s hilariously funny breakdown of a believers email

We all get them, “fan” mail from true believers out to convert you, or just to have a go and vent a bit. Some of us politely engage and debate, others just ignore. However, the true master of the witty reply or takedown has just got to be PZ. On his blog he has published a recent email. Here it is with with his comments in red … enjoy … :-)

To whom this may concern; [this was sent to my personal email account; does he think a committee lives here?]

I had a look at your web site today and frankly can’t figure out [count me unsurprised] just what all the uproar is concerning “scientists” such as yourself feeling that you have to spend so much effort [it’s easy, I assure you] trying [trying?] to discredit Kent Hovind [he’s a convicted felon and phony with an unaccredited degree] and/or others in his field the way that you do! If indeed he is the ignorant individual [yep] that you attempt to

[don’t ask me why he inserted these odd random line breaks]

portray him as, “writing like a fourth grader” [excuse me, that would besecond grader”] as you say, then why should you waste such valuable research time slandering him? [it takes very little time to dismantle Hovind; why are you wasting your valuable time writing to me?]

My guess is, as I have watched this whole rairoading [he was convicted, and his own testimony and behavior indicted him] of him and his organization

[mystery line breaks!]

come about, that individuals and groups for that matter with your particular mind-set are either scared to death [he’s a worm, not a snake] of the debate [there is no debate] between creationism [bullshit] and Darwinian evolution [science. We win!], or that you simply do not have the intellectual cahonas [??? Do you mean “cojones”?] to engage creationists such as Mr. Hovind in any real truth [he has none to share]- revealing discourse concerning the subject.

What are you afraid of? [ebola, senility, and bad clams]

I find it quite revealing indeed that when the “non-believers” in the world bash Christians as a bunch of prudish [QFT], bible thumping [QFT], homophobic [QFT], hate mongering [QFT] flat earthers [QFT] that nobody really seems to care [it’s the banality of a pedestrian truth]; in fact it has become something of a national pass-time [???] it would seem. But!!!!! [are you wearing your underpants on your head?], suggest for a moment that the so-called [what other scientific community is there?] scientific community has at the very least bought into a theory that has been highly questionable at best since it’s inception [nope—enthusiastically embraced by the scientifically literate at its inception, and become more and more strungly supported since], and the mobs are ready to light torches and take up their pitchforks! [personally, I prefer a cyber-pistol]

With all due respect [dishonest again], I find your tactic of attacking Mr. Hovind [I think it’s entirely appropriate to criticize tax cheats and creationists—why should he be exempt?], and on such ridiculous grounds as his doctoral dissertation no less [it’s true, his dissertation was rather ridiculous], quite an immature stretch to say the least [given that “Dr” Dino calls himself a degreed scientist on the basis of that thesis, examining its quality is entirely reasonable]. This is exactly the kind of thing [what? that we examine scholarly claims?] that tells me that not all scientists are anywhere near to being the “rational thinkers” [I question the ability of Hovind fans to recognize such] that we’re

[another line break interlude]

always being reminded of in this God hating society [I wish] that we are living in.

Get some backbone about yourself sir and take a look at ALL the evidence [curious fact: these cranks are always telling me I missed some key evidence, but they never quite get to the point of telling me what it is], not just the convenient parts as you and yours are so quick to accuse creationists of doing. [instead of whining, you could have actually cited some evidence…but I think these jokers know I’ll joyfully tear their ‘facts’ apart]

Sincerely, W.C. Revere [email says “William McKinney”, but signs it “W.C. Revere”. Don’t play games, please.]

You will find the original here along with lots of comments from his readers …

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