Mormonism: It is weirder than you think. 4


goddamned-mormons-190sWe know that many belief systems make truly weird assertions, but some truly do push the boat far out into uncharted territory. One classic example are the Mormons. You might indeed have the impression that you have a gasp on what they believe, but do you? For example, the following is quite well known:

  • No coffee and tea
  • They used to practice polygamy, but most don’t apart from a few odd splinter sects.
  • Bible is incomplete, they have another book
  • Founded by Joseph Smith who got all the details off golden plates that he read with magic glasses.
  • They sort of believe in Jesus, so it feels to most to be some variation of Christianity
  • They wear magic underwear (temple garments)

Well if that was it, they would indeed be on par with most other beliefs, odd indeed, but more or less on par with many other belief systems. But no, they actually hold some wacky beliefs that are truly kooky. Here now is a list of 20 that are often not publicly admitted to. Some of these are doctrinal, others hearsay over the pulpit from apostles or leaders, and others adopted by more orthodox Mormons …

20 truly crazy Mormon beliefs

  1. Polygamy is still doctrinal in heaven and included in LDS scripture.  See D&C 132 … so you get one wife now, but can have lots in the next life.
  2. Racism: If you have dark skin and convert to Mormonism, your skin will begin to lighten/whiten
  3. You become a God/Goddess and are given powers to create your own worlds without number
  4. The Garden of Eden was in Missouri when Adam and Eve were kicked out
  5. Native Americans are the descendants of the Lamanites spoken of in the Book of Mormon
  6. Love isn’t as strong between couples and families who are not LDS
  7. 3 Nephites still roam the Earth from Christ’s visit to the America’s, blessed by Him to not experience death until his second coming
  8. Racism again: Black people bear the curse of Cain and were born black because they were less valiant in the pre-existence (pre-Earth life) and sat on the fence as to whether to follow Satan/Lucifer or Jesus
  9. God the father is only one of millions of endless Gods who are all basically relatives, fathers, brothers, grand-gods and so forth to our own God.  If you are worthy, then you get to join the God club too.
  10. Misogyny: A woman’s purpose in heaven is solely to birth endless babies to populate the worlds created by their husbands.  Billions and billions of babies!
  11. Temple garments or magic underwear will protect you from physical harm or the grasp of Satan
  12. Misogyny again: The church partners with the Boy Scouts of America for the development of males but does not endorse nor partner with the Girl Scout programs or similar female development programs
  13. Dinosaur fossils are to test our faith, and likely came from matter left over from past destroyed planets that were used/recycled to create Earth
  14. Jesus was supposed to come in the year 2000, that is until he didn’t
  15. God is a resurrected, extra terrestrial, exalted human male who lives on a planet near a star called Kolob.  See Book of Abraham, chapter 3 in Pearl of Great Price
  16. The Holy Ghost goes to bed at midnight, so all dates, sleepovers, or other activities by youth or single people need to end by midnight or else you won’t have protection or guidance against the temptations of the devil
  17. The Earth was once in orbit around Kolob, but was expelled when Adam fell from the Garden of Eden.  It will again return to that orbit after the millennium, or at least that was what was supposed to happen.
  18. There are people living on the moon.  They dress much like Quakers and they are tall, many standing seven feet tall or more.  One day they will send missionaries to teach them the gospel.  There are also people living on the sun. Journal of Discourses, Vol. 13, p. 217
  19. Jesus was not born of a virgin birth.  God had literal sex with Mary to conceive Jesus.
  20. The earth is 7,000 years old

What tends to happen is that potential converts are presented with the more palatable stuff at first. Once you are invested in the basics, then the weirder stuff becomes easier to buy into later on. That perhaps is a pattern most beliefs adopt … give them the easy to digest stuff first to get them hooked, then gradually reel them deeper in.

What is clear is that when it comes to the Mormons, reality is not a local call, but is in fact so far away that international dialing codes kick in.


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4 thoughts on “Mormonism: It is weirder than you think.

  • an awesome person

    just FYI, alot of these “facts” about mormons are so not true. If you think you’ve got all the facts down, you should try brushing up your knowledge by reading the source “we mormons” try and suround our lives with, The Book of Mormon. ;)

    • mike

      actually they are true except a lot of these are no longer taught but they are all part of church history easy to research including Joseph Smith taking the wives of mormon men as his wife, teaching that Adam was our God and that Jesus and lucifer are literal offspring of the Father and one of his wives

    • mike

      also it was taught that Adam came to earth and had sex with Mary to produce Jesus. I know app that you are going to say that it is not true but it is true. Prophet Brigham Young (1801-1877):
      “Now hear it, O inhabitants of the earth, Jew and Gentile, Saint and sinner! When our father Adam came into the garden of Eden, he came into it with a celestial body, and brought Eve, one of his wives, with him. He helped to make and organize this world. He is MICHAEL, the Archangel, the ANCIENT OF DAYS! about whom holy men have written and spoken – He is our FATHER and our GOD, and the only God with whom WE have to do. Every man upon the earth, professing Christians or non-professing, must hear it, and will know it sooner or later!”
      – Prophet Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses, v. 1, p. 51

      “Though we have it in history that our father Adam was made of the dust of this earth, and that he knew nothing about his God previous to being made here, yet it is not so; and when we learn the truth we shall see and understand that he helped to make this world, and was the chief manager in that operation. He was the person who brought the animals and the seeds from other planets to this world, and brought a wife with him and stayed here. You may read and believe what you please as to what is found written in the Bible. Adam was made from the dust of an earth, but not from the dust of this earth. He was made as you and I are made, and no person was ever made upon any other principle.”
      – Prophet Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses, v. 3, pp. 319-320

      “How much unbelief exists in the minds of the Latter-day Saints in regard to one particular doctrine which I revealed to them, and which God revleaed to me – namely that Adam is our father and God – I do not know, I do not inquire, I care nothing about it. Our Father Adam helped to make this earth, it was created expressly for him, and after it was made he and his companions came here. He brought one of his wives with him, and she was called Eve, because she was the first woman upon the earth. Our Father Adam is the man who stands at the gate and holds the keys of everlasting life and salvation to all his children who have or who ever will come upon the earth. I have been found fault with by the ministers of religion because I have said that they were ignorant. But I could not find any man on the earth who cold tell me this, although it is one of the simplest things in the world, until I met and talked with Joseph Smith.”
      – Prophet Brigham Young, Deseret News, v. 22, no. 308, June 8, 1873;

      “Our Father begot all the spirits that were before any tabernacle was made. When our Father came into the Garden He came with his Celestial body and brought one of his wives with him and ate of the fruit of the Garden until He could beget a Tabernacle. And Adam is Michael God and all the God that we have anything to do with. They ate of this fruit and formed the first Tabernacle that was formed. And when the Virgin Mary was begotten with Child it was by the Father and in no other way only as we were begotten. I will tell you the truth as it is in God. The world don’t know that Jesus Christ our Elder Brother was begotten by our Father in Heaven. Handle it was you please, it will either seal the damnation or salvation of man. He was begotten by the Father and not by the Holy Ghost.”
      – Prophet Brigham Young, as quoted in the Wilford Woodruff’s Journal, April 9, 1852

      “Some have said that I was very presumptuous to say that Brother Brigham was my God and Savior. Brother Joseph was his God. The one that gave Joseph the keys of the Kingdom was his God, which was Peter. Jesus Christ was his God and the God and Father of Jesus Christ was Adam.”
      – Apostle Heber C. Kimball, as quoted by Wilford Woodruff, in the Journal of Wilford Woodruff, April 10, 1852

      Prophet Wilford Woodruff, Journal of Wilford Woodruff, April 20, 1856; online at http://www.nhfelt.org/NHFELT/Woodruff_Wilford.pdf
      “President Young followed & made many good remarks . . . He said that our God was Father Adam. He was the Father of the Savior Jesus Christ–Our God was no more or less than Adam . . . Michael the Archangel.”
      – Prophet Wilford Woodruff, Journal of Wilford Woodruff, February 19, 1854

      there are plenty of more quotes , google them they are all from LDS souces

    • mike

      The fact that Joseph Smith asked for other men’s wives was made very plain in a sermon given in the Tabernacle by Jedediah M. Grant, second counselor to Brigham Young. In this sermon, delivered Feb. 19, 1854, Grant revealed (emphasis added):
      “When the family organization was revealed from heaven – the patriarchal order of God, and Joseph began, on the right and on the left, to add to his family, what a quaking there was in Israel. Says one brother to another, ‘Joseph says all covenants are done away, and none are binding but the new covenants: now suppose Joseph should come and say he wanted your wife, what would you say to that?’ ‘I would tell him to go to hell.’ This was the spirit of many in the early days of this Church….
      “What would a man of God say, who felt aright, when Joseph asked him for his money? He would say, ‘Yes, and I wish I had more to help to build up the kingdom of God.’ Or if he came and said, ‘I want your wife?’ ‘O yes,’ he would say, ‘here she is, there are plenty more.’… Did the Prophet Joseph want every man’s wife he asked for? … If such a man of God should come to me and say, ‘I want your gold and silver, or your wives,’ I should say, ‘Here they are, I wish I had more to give you, take all I have got.’ ” (Journal of Discourses, vol. 2, pages 13-14)
      Ann Eliza Young, who had been married to Brigham Young, charged that Joseph Smith was guilty of adultery:
      “Joseph not only paid his addresses to the young and unmarried women, but he sought ‘spiritual alliance’ with many married ladies… He taught them that all former marriages were null and void, and that they were at perfect liberty to make another choice of a husband. The marriage covenants were not binding, because they were ratified only by Gentile laws…. consequently all the women were free….
      “One woman said to me not very long since, while giving me some of her experiences in polygamy: ‘The greatest trial I ever endured in my life was living with my husband and deceiving him, by receiving Joseph’s attentions whenever he chose to come to me.’
      “This woman, and others, whose experience has been very similar, are among the very best women in the church; they are as pure-minded and virtuous women as any in the world. They were seduced under the guise of religion,…
      “Some of these women have since said they did not know who was the father of their children; this is not to be wondered at, for after Joseph’s declaration annulling all Gentile marriages, the greatest promiscuity was practiced; and, indeed, all sense of morality seemed to have been lost by a portion at least of the church.” (Wife No. 19, 1876, pages 70-71)
      Henry Jacobs was an active, ranking member of the Mormon/Nauvoo society and was faithful. He followed the prophet and went to England as a missionary, leaving his wife, Zina, and newborn child behind AFTER Joseph Smith AND later Brigham Young were both married to his wife, only to get off the boat in New York on his way home to receive a letter from his wife saying she’d moved in with her 2nd/3rd husband Brigham, and then she had Brigham Young’s child. This clearly disproves any faithful member claims that there was no sex and providing the opportunity for salvation the women otherwise wouldn’t have? Couldn’t Zina have been sealed to Henry? He was certainly worthy serving a mission at the time.
      Henry Jacob’s Wife, Zina
      Prescindia’s twenty-year-old sister Zina was living in the Joseph Smith home when Elder Henry B. Jacobs married her in March 1841. According to family records, when Zina and Henry asked Joseph Smith why he had not honored them by performing their marriage, Smith replied that “the Lord had made it known to him that [Zina] was to be his Celestial wife.” Believing that “whatever the Prophet did was right, without making the wisdom of God’s authorities bend to the reasoning of any man,” the devout Elder Jacobs consented for six-months-pregnant Zina to be sealed to Joseph Smith 27 October 1841. Some have suggested that the Jacobs’s marriage was “unhappy” and that the couple had separated before her sealing to Joseph Smith. But, though sealed to Joseph Smith for eternity, Zina continued her connubial relationship with her husband Henry Jacobs. On 2 February 1846, pregnant with Henry’s second son, Zina was re-sealed by proxy to the murdered Joseph Smith and in that same session was “sealed for time” to Brigham Young. Faithful Henry B. Jacobs stood by as an official witness to both ceremonies.
      (“History of Henry Bailey Jacobs.” By Ora J. Cannon, page 5-7. also see “Recollections of Zina D. Young” by Mary Brown Firmage)

      Zina and Henry lived together as husband and wife until the Mormon pioneers reached Mt. Pisgah, Iowa. At this temporary stop on the pioneer trail, Brigham Young announced that “it was time for men who were walking in other men’s shoes to step out of them. Brother Jacobs, the woman you claim for a wife does not belong to you. She is the spiritual wife of brother Joseph, sealed up to him. I am his proxy, and she, in this behalf, with her children, are my property. You can go where you please, and get another, but be sure to get one of your own kindred spirit” (Hall 1853, 43-44). President Young then called Jacobs on a mission to England. Witnesses to his departure commented that he was so emotionally ill they had to “put him on a blanket and carry him to the boat to get him on his way”.
      (“Short Sketch of the Life of Henry B. Jacobs” By Ora J. Cannon)

      Henry returned from his mission and settled in California. But he was still in love with his wife Zina, now a plural wife of Brigham Young. Henry’s letters to his wife Zina were heartrending. On 2 September 1852 he wrote: “O how happy I should be if I only could see you and the little children, bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh.” “I am unhappy,” Henry lamented, “there is no peace for poor me, my pleasure is you, my comfort has vanished…. O Zina, can I ever, will I ever get you again, answer the question please.” In an undated Valentine he added:
      Zina my mind never will change from Worlds without Ends, no never, the same affection is there and never can be moved I do not murmur nor complain of the handlings of God no verily, no but I feel alone and no one to speak to, to call my own. I feel like a lamb without a mother, I do not blame any person or persons, no–May the Lord our Father bless Brother Brigham and all purtains unto him forever. Tell him for me I have no feelings against him nor never had, all is right according to the Law of the Celestial Kingdom of our god Joseph [Smith].” (“Short Sketch of the Life of Henry B. Jacobs” By Ora J. Cannon)
      Reference: http://www.i4m.com/think/history/Joseph_Smith_mens_wives.htm
      pg 44-45, Mormon Polygamy, Richard S. Van Wagoner
      Our Comment: Although Henry eventually remarried, after Brigham Young told him that his wife and children belonged to Brigham and not to Henry, he continued to yearn for Zina and their children. There doesn’t seem to be any good, logical reason why Joseph and then Brigham Young would take Henry Jacob’s wife Zina from him and force him to abandon his children and find another wife. Henry wrote to Zina while in England “I have had to hear, feel and suffer everything he has—if you only knew my troubles you’d pity me.” Why was it necessary for Joseph and Brigham to unnecessarily torment this faithful man?
      In FAIR’s review of MT’s polygamy section, FAIR states Henry “supported the process” and that “Henry consented to the sealing” and asks the question “Doesn’t MormonThink think Zina and Henry can make their own decisions?”
      From reading Henry’s journals he obviously didn’t like the idea. He consented to it probably because he had no real choice. Nothing above supports that Henry was offered an easy yes or no choice that he could turn down without any consequences. If Zina and Henry really believed Joseph and Brigham were prophets, they might blindly follow whatever they said (remember all the good men including bishops and stake presidents that turned into mass murders and killed 150 men, women and children at the Mountains Meadow Massacre all because they thought this is what Brigham Young wanted?). At any rate, this is not something that any man should be asked to sacrifice especially without any real good reason for it given.